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Driving in Thailand
By Joe Samui
Operating a motor vehicle in Thailand is not much different than operating a motor vehicle in a video game. Chickens,buffalo, motorbikes and even police use practically every square meter of the road in what seems to be a concerted effort to make driving here as perilous as possible. A question direct from the Thailand Drivers manual asks if Tanks used in Warfare can be used on the streets. Considering the numbers of un-licensed drivers on the road in Thailand, i'd think a Tank used in Warfare would be required. Amazingly enough, road conditions in Thailand are quite good on the country's modern dual carriage-ways. From Laos to Malaysia, Thailand has made a very significant effort to improve road conditions while still lacking significantly in people qualified to drive them. Warnings of an approaching pot-hole can be as simple as a stick lying in the road to the more sophisticated, including a chair used to signify an open sewer grate or the 5 gallon pail which should remind you that sewer pipe installation is underway. Foreign drivers are cautioned against driving at night as it is quite common for your Thai counterparts to be driving with no head lights, a move which can only be seen as an attempt to reduce their carbon footprint. Mini bus drivers often say that they drive at excessively high speeds in order to keep away from the other traffic. That is all fine and dandy until the approaching traffic is unaware of our drivers skill and fails to notice him approaching from below, around the corner,on a right turn. Interestingly, the application for a Thai drivers license is very straight forward and simple. Drive your car to the License Branch, submit your application form along with a collection of vacation photos and house documents, pay your fee and begin the testing process. First, you will need to prove to the examiner that you are able to distinguish your red hues from the green, you will have to convince her that your motor skills are up to the Thai challenge by depressing a gas pedal apparatus and once you are going fast enough, removing your foot from the gas and slamming on the brake pedal and hopefully with enough time to avoid the motorbikes carrying dogs, 5 children, the television to repair and a bird cage. Secondly, you will need to take the writte test which in most provinces now is no longer written but computerized. Answer at least 23 questions correctly out of 30 and you can now proceed to the driving portion of your test. Apparently it is very important to the Thai driving authorities that you do not attempt to reverse your car with the rear-view mirror but instead to stay forward facing in your seat, using the fact that you have not hit anything yet to serve as direct evidence that you can continue in reverse. In the event of a collission, a smile and a nod is equivallent to about 1000 baht, however your final bill will depend entirely on your bargaining skills and those will not be sharp enough to remove you from the situation for less than twenty five thousand. It appears to be no concern of theirs how your vehicle arrived at the testing station, apparently not considering that those who have driven there for the test may not already be licensed to drive. |
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Thanks for the laugh. It seems the Thai traffic situation is fairly similar to that of the Philippines, though you seem to lack the jeepneys out to break the land speed record every time they get out of the garage.
 | | nick May 19, 2008 06:59 | |
CONTRIBUTOR'S REPLY
Mini bus drivers here only make land speed record attempts during periods of heavy rain while driving through the mountains. Anyone can try to beat speed records on a nice day on flat ground. Torrential downpours, hazardous road conditions and a bus full of screaming farang are what are truly required for a legitimate speed record attempt.
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